why are so many people afraid of failure? quite simply because no one tells us how to lead failure experience to growth.we forget that failure is part of life and that every person has the right to fail.

most parents work hard at either preventing failure or protecting their children from it. one way is to lower standards. a mother describes her child's hurriedly-made table as "perfect!" even though it couldn't stand on uneven legs. another way is to shift blame. if john fails the exam, his teacher is unfair or stupid.

the trouble with failure-prevention methods is that they leave a child unequipped for life in the real world. the young need to learn that no one can be best at everything, no one can win all the time it's possible to enjoy a game even when you don't win. a child who's not invited to a birthday

party or enrolled in the baseball team feels terrible, of course. but parents should not offer a quick comfort prize or say, "it doesn't matter" because it does. the young should experience disappointment and master it.

failure is never pleasurable. it hurts grown-ups and children exactly alike. but it can make a positive contribution to your life once you learn to use it. step one is to ask, "why did i fail?" control the natural impulse to blame someone else.ask yourself what you did wrong, how to improve. if someone else can help, don't be shy about asking them.

失败

为什么那么多人都害怕失败?原因很简单：没人告诉我们该如何让失败的经历促进成长。我们忘记了，失败是人生的一部分，每个人都有失败的权利。

很多家长竭尽全力阻止失败或保护自己的孩子免受失败。一方面，他们降低了要求。孩子匆匆忙忙做的小桌子，即使桌腿都不平，妈妈也会夸奖说“太棒了!”。另一方面，他们把过错转嫁给别人。如果约翰考试不及格，那么他的老师一定是不公平的或愚蠢的。

这些避免失败的措施有很大的弊端，他们会使孩子对真实世界里的生活毫无准备。年轻人需要学会，没有人会处处领先，时时成功—即使失败了，也同样能够从游戏中获得乐趣。 当然，没被邀请参加生日晚会，或是落选棒球队，都会让孩子感到非常失落。但父母也不用马上就跑来安慰或着说“没关系”之类的话，因为这的确有关系。年轻人应该体验失望一—并控制这种情绪。

失败从来不是一件快乐的事情。无论是对成人还是对孩子，它都会造成伤害。不过，一旦你学会了该如何利用它，失败就会对你的人生产生积极的作用。第一步，就是问

问自己：“我为什么会失败?”控制那种自然而然就去指责别人的冲动。问问自己，究竟哪里做错了，该如何改进。如果有人能够帮助你，别对请教他们感到不好意思。

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