Romance does not necessarily have to fade away in the long-term relationships and transform into a friendship-type love, according to a new study. Romantic love can last a lifetime and lead to even happier, stronger and healthier relationships.
据一项新的研究称,爱情并不一定由于长时间的相处而变淡,或是转变为朋友式的爱情。浪漫的爱情可以持续一生,还可以让双方关系更融洽,更牢固,更健康。
The study’s lead researcher, Bianca P. Acevedo, PhD, from the University of California, Santa Barbara, said that many people identify romantic love as passionate love, which, in her opinion, is not true. The scientist explained that romantic love has the same intensity, involvement and sexual chemistry, that has the passionate love, with the exception of an obsession. Obsessive love is always accompanied by feelings such as anxiety and uncertainty, and never survives for a long time.
这项研究的首席研究员,来自美国加州大学圣巴巴拉分校的Bianca P. Acevedo博士说,许多人认定浪漫的爱情就是充满激情的爱,但是在她看来却不是这样。科学家解释说,浪漫的爱情与充满激情的爱情(迷恋不包括在内)同样强烈,同样需要性。迷恋总是伴随着焦虑,不安,而且持续的时间也不长。
To come up with this conclusion, Dr. Acevedo and co-author Arthur Aron, PhD, analyzed 25 studies with more than 6,000 individuals that were engaged in the short-term and long-lterm relationships. The researchers planned to figure out if romantic love was associated with more satisfaction in a relationship. In several studies, the relationships were classified as romantic, passionate/obsessive, or friendship-like love, and categorized as the short- or long-term.
为了得出这一结论,Acevedo博士与合著者Arthur Aron博士分析了超过6000人参与的关于短时间的和长时间的恋爱关系的25项研究。研究者想要弄明白浪漫的爱情是否与相处时的满足感相关。在一些研究中,恋爱关系被分为浪漫式,激情式/迷恋式,或朋友式的爱情,也有的按恋爱时间长短分为短时间和长时间的恋爱。
The first study involved 17 short-term relationships of single, dating or married college students with the ages between 18 and 23, whose relationships lasted less than 4 years. The second study analyzed 10 long-term relationships of middle-aged couples, with the marriage experience of 10 years or more.
第一项研究对17对恋爱时间持续不到四年的单身的,在约会的情侣,或是已婚的18至23岁间大学生进行研究。第二项研究的对象则是十对结婚超过十年的中年夫妇。
The results revealed that those individuals who said that they had a great romantic love, were much more satisfied in both the short- and long-term relationships. Participants from both the short- and long-term relationships, who reported that their love was mostly based on friendship, only moderately associated their relationship with complete satisfaction, and those who reported passionate love in their relationships, were more likely to be satisfied for the short period of time, rather than the long term. Also, couples who expressed the most satisfaction with their partner, turned out to be much happier and had higher self-esteem.
最后的结果表明,说自己的爱情很浪漫的人无论是在短时间还是在长时间的恋爱关系中都倍感满足;说自己的爱情是基于友情的人只有通过一定的调节来获得完全满足;充满激情的爱情相较于长时间的恋爱,更容易在短时间的相处中让双方获得满足。还有一点就是,对自己的伴侣越是满意的人,心情越是愉悦,对自己也越是自信。
According to Dr. Acevedo, when partners feel and know that they are there for each other, it always creates a strong bond between them, and leads to a good relationship, which, in turn, contributes to stronger feelings of romantic love. On the contrary, when people start feeling insecure and jealous, they start also experiencing less satisfaction, which in many cases leads to misunderstandings and conflicts in the relationships.
Acevedo称,当恋人双方感知到对方随时都在自己身边时,双方间的牵绊会更深,关系会更融洽,这也会使他们的爱情更加的浪漫。相反,当人们开始感到不安和嫉妒时,便开始产生不满情绪,这样将会导致误会和冲突的产生。
This new findings may change people’s perceptions and expectations of what they really want in long-term relationships. Partners should fight for their love with all the possible means, Acevedo said. And couples who have been together for many years and wish to rekindle their romantic feelings, should remember that this is an attainable goal that requires patience, energy and devotion.
这一新发现可能会改变人们对爱情的看法和在长期恋爱关系中的期望。Acevedo说,恋爱双方应该尽可能地争取他们的爱。对于那些已经在一起很多年又想要重燃爱火的老夫老妻来说,他们要记住的是,要达到这一目标需要双方有耐心,有精力,也要懂得为对方付出。
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