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【案例1】

原文：Environmental protection has more and more gotten the attention of the countries around the world, and the best way of environmental protection has become the focus of the debate。

修改：Environmental protection has drawn increasing attention of the countries around the world, and people have been debating about the best way to protect the environment。

解析：

(1)“受到越来越多的关注”原文用has more and more gotten the attention，是典型的中文直译，不符合英文的行文习惯，应改成has drawn increasing attention。

(2)has become the focus of the debate即“成为讨论的焦点”，但更地道的英文表达可以人为主语，如：...people have been debating about the best way to protect the environment。

【案例2】

原文：Gradually improved public awareness of environmental protection and insufficient environmental protection measures have been very difficult to reverse the trend of ecological and environmental degradation。

修改：Although more people have become aware of environmental problems and have taken measures to protect the environment, the trend of ecological and environmental degradation is hard to be reversed。

解析：原句英文脱胎于中文句式“……的措施很难逆转生态环境恶化的趋势”，但直译出来的英文却是典型的Chinglish。修改版本调整了整句话的句式，把原本过长的主语变成了状语从句，并用the trend做主句的主语，让句式更平衡，表达更西化。

在托福写作备考时，要特别注意英语表达和汉语表达的差别，不要盲目照搬中文的句式。只有多多输入优质的英语原文，并留心比较中文与英文的行文思路和表达上的差异，才能有效避免中式英文。

(来源：沪江英语 作者：Eileen)

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